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Monday, March 22, 2010

A note to IT support

Dear IT Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.

And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed, Desperate Housewife


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Reply:

Dear Desperate Housewife,

First keep in mind: Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.
If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1. Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly. wav files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.

Good Luck,
IT Support


Sunday, March 7, 2010

SEBAB-SEBAB LELAKI TIDAK SUBUR

Terdapat beberapa sebab mengapa lelaki tidak subur. Antaranya adalah seperti....

Fakor yang mempengaruhi penghasilan sperma
  1. Hormon endrogenik.....
  • gabungan hormon2 lelaki.
  • Paras hormon ini akan meningkat semasa akil baligh.
  • Hormon ini membentuk ciri-ciri karakter lelaki seperti susuk tubuh yang sasa,suara yang garau, misai dan kumis.
  • Kekurangan atau ketidakstabilan hormon ini menyebabkan sperma tidak dapat membentuk dengan normal...
2. Hormon daripada kalenjar pituitari...
  • Dlm sesetengah kes kemalangan atau trauma yang melibatkan gegaran otak memberi kesan terhadap penghasilan hormon ini.
  • Apabila hormon ini berkurangan penghasilan sperma turut terjejas.
3. Kedudukan skrotum (kerandut Zakar)...
  • Faktor suhu badan yang tinggi menjejaskan penghasilan sperma.
    Contohnya seperti sentiasa terdedah kepada suhu panas dan sering menggunakan pakaian dalam yang terlalu ketat atau tebal.
  • Kedudukan testis di luar kerendut zakar menjejaskan peluang mendapatkan zuriat.
4. Masalah pada Epididimis...
  • Kerosakan epididimis boleh berlaku disebabkan serangan kuman seperti genorhea dan tubelatosis.
  • Apabila epididimis rosak,pengumpulan sperma tidak lancar.
  • Bagi lelaki yang gemar sukan lasak perlu sentiasa berwaspada dan melindungi organ yang mustahak ini.
5. Masalah pada Vas Deferens
  • Vas Deferens adalah saluran utama di mana sperma dari epididimis di bawa masuk ke dalam uretra.
  • Van deferens boleh 'tersumbat' disebabkan oleh jangkitan kuman atau 'semula jadi' iaitu kecacatan semasa lahir.
  • Sumbatan itu mungkin boleh dipulihkan melalui pembedahan kecil.
6. Sebab lain yang menyebabkan kurangnya penghasilan sperma adalah jangkitan kuman, sakit kelamin, merokok secara berlebihan dan ketagihan alkohol.
  • Asap rokok mengandungi bahan toksin yang merosakkan kualiti sperma.

PETUA UNTUK RAMBUT HITAM DAN LEBAT


  • 1st, ambil beberapa helai daun bunga raya yang muda.
  • Kemudian lumatkan daun bunga raya tersebut sehingga mengeluarkan lendir.
  • Tambahkan sedikit air dan lumurkan ke atas rambut.
  • Ramas rambut selama lima hingga sepuluh minit dan kemudian bilas dengan menggunakan air suam.
  • Akhir sekali,lakukan sebanyak tiga kali seminggu.
SELAMAT MENCUBA!!!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Inspiring Story of a Beautiful Teacup!

There was a couple who used to go to England to shop in the beautiful stores. This was their 25th wedding anniversary. They both liked antiques and pottery and especially teacups. One day in this beautiful shop they saw a beautiful teacup. They said "May we see that? We've never seen one quite so beautiful."

As the lady handed it to them, suddenly the teacup spoke. "You don't understand," it said. "I haven't always been a teacup. There was a time when I was red and I was clay. My master took me and rolled me and patted me over and over and I yelled out, let me alone," but he only smiled, 'Not yet.'

"Then I was placed on a spinning wheel," the teacup said, "and suddenly I was spun around and around and around. Stop it! I'm getting dizzy!" I screamed. But the master only nodded and said, 'Not yet.'

"Then he put me in the oven. I never felt such heat. I wondered why he wanted to burn me, and I yelled, and I knocked at the door. I could see him through the opening and I could read his lips as he shook his head, 'Not yet.'

"Finally the door opened, he put me on the shelf, and I began to cool. 'There, that's better,' I said. And he brushed and painted me all over. The fumes were horrible. I thought I would gag. 'Stop it, stop it!' I cried. He only nodded, 'Not yet.'

"Then suddenly he put me back into the oven, not like the first one. This was twice as hot and I knew I would suffocate. I begged. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried. All the time I could see him through the opening nodding his head, saying, 'Not yet.'

"Then I knew there wasn't any hope. I would never make it. I was ready to give up. But the door opened and he took me out and placed me on the shelf. One hour later he handed me a mirror and said, 'Look at yourself.' And I did. I said, 'That's not me; that couldn't be me. It's beautiful. I'm beautiful.' "

'I want you to remember, then,' he said, 'I know it hurt to be rolled and patted, but if I just left you, you'd have dried up. I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had stopped, you would have crumbled. I know it hurt and it was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if I hadn't put you there, you would have cracked. I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that, you never would have hardened. You would not have had any color in your life, and if I hadn't put you back in that second oven, you wouldn't survive for very long because the hardness would not have held. Now you are a finished product. You are what I had in mind when I first began with you."